My Ayahuasca Journey: Prep and Awakenings
Less than 3 weeks to go and every day since booking the retreat I've had a different feeling towards it. Mostly scared. and nervous.
I know I'm doing the right thing, but during the booking process it was like I wasn't really thinking about what it entailed. Don't get me wrong, I've researched this for some time now and feel I know as much as I can about it... but I just didn't put myself into first position. What am I going to see? How will I feel? What will the place be like? Will I change? How will I be when I come back? Will I come back? These are just some of the questions rattling around in my head for the past week.
After booking the retreat we were sent some 'Ayahuasca Water' which is a homeopathic remedy to 'ready the body and mind' for the experience. I'm kind of 50/50 with homeopathy, leaning more towards it being a great placebo but nevertheless I've started taking it (what harm can it do?) and either my mind is working over time in the placebo realm or it is actually working - I'm not even going to hazard a guess at which one it is, I'm just enjoying the effects - from the first day of taking (last Friday) I feel like I'm already starting to look at things a little differently - Relationships, Social Media, Social Status, general ego-driven things which I'd already had an awareness of before but now seems like they've had a veil lifted off of them and the clarity is surprising.
All of the above mentioned of course have pros and cons, and obviously it's down to the individual what they get out of/put into it and the balance they decide on, I'm just waking up to the somewhat desperation of Social Media and the seeking of acceptance/approval 'hey I've had a thought (status update) please like it' - the fake admiration we may feel when other people agree with what we've said. It's all pretty interesting really. Not doubting for one second that Social Media also is a huge benefit - the way we connect with other likeminded people instantaneously, the sharing of knowledge, ideas and growth and also staying in touch with loved ones, I guess the realisation I came to (not that this is groundbreaking or shocking) is that the social media tools are fantastic, but everyone uses them differently and you can either get the most out of it, or procrastinate - or a bit of both (I'm definitely working on just using the former, there really are only so many cat videos you can watch)
All about balance!